


Don't Hold Your Breath

by itsharbour



Series: Stydia One-Shots [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dead Allison, F/M, OTP Feels, season 3b, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:10:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsharbour/pseuds/itsharbour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Allison's death at Oak Creek, Lydia drives Stiles home and realizes that it is the first time that they have seen each other since he was separated from the Nogitsune.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Hold Your Breath

The ride home was silent. The weight of Allison’s loss had created chasms between all of them. A great schism pushed them all away from each other and further into their grief. Moving into the car and starting to drive away from Oak Creek had become a blur to them, as if they had been on autopilot.

Stiles’ mind was heavy and keeping his eyes open was like fighting a war, but closing his eyes brought darkness, cold and void. If he had to choose between the pain and nothingness, he would choose the pain.

Lydia sat next to him, driving the jeep since he was in no shape to drive it himself. They hadn’t needed to discuss it, she had just put her hand out to him and he had given her the keys. No words had been said since he had woken up in the hallway, Lydia looking at him with red rimmed eyes.

The pack hadn’t let him see the body, but in his mind, he saw her falling. He could see the smile on the Nogitsune’s face as the Oni’s sword found its way to Allison. It was revelling in their pain.

Lydia pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, her hand resting on the gear shift. Her eyes glanced at him quickly. Stiles opened his mouth, thinking of what to say to her, but not coming up with anything. He had no words for her.

She swallowed dryly, trying to get rid of the lump that was residing in her throat, and took a deep breath. The car’s doors were unlocked with a push of a button and she climbed out of the driver’s seat, going towards her car, which she had parked on the other side of the street.

It took a moment. Stiles had forgotten how to care for her. Being locked away for so long had left him useless, doing far more bad than good. He had fought so hard to be one of the good guys for her, and he had become one of the bad guys.

He made the decision and scrambled out of the jeep, careful not to fall into the gutter. “Wait!” He yelled out to her.

She winced at the sound of his voice, husky and gravelly with pain, but turned around anyway.

There was a pause as they stood together in front of her house, but neither of them felt awkward as they stay in each other’s company. Lydia realized that the car ride was the first time that she had been alone with Stiles since the Nogitsune had been exorcised from him. She had been taken away before she could drink him in.

She had never noticed how tall he was. Not as tall as some of the boys she’d dated, but just the right height. He wasn’t muscular, but lean, like he could hold her tightly forever, but he could never hurt her. Then there were his eyes. They had been a warm and welcoming shade of brown before, but now they were tired and wrought with pain. She had almost lost him less than an hour ago.

And now he was there, standing before her. Leaning on his car like it was just another night. She imagined that it was just that. That Stiles was dropping her off at home after a lacrosse game and that she was going to see him again tomorrow and every other day after that.

He ran a hand through his hair nervously through his hair. “Lydia, about before--”

She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing him to her. She felt his arms bring her tightly to his chest. Tears ran down her face and fell onto his old grey sweater. She could smell his scent. The scent of woods and soap that were so innately unique to Stiles. Lydia breathed him in.

Stiles pulled her into him, longing to feel the warmth and hoping that it could take away the cold that ran through his veins. He brought his head down her neck and her hair tickled his nose. “Lyds--”

“You’re here.” She whispered into his neck, her eyes closed, and she let him go. Her hand reached for his cheek and she stroked it gently, feeling the stubble that was starting to form on his face.

He held her hand to him, her skin soft and comforting. “Open your eyes, Lydia.” She opened them slowly, gingerly. “I’m right here.”

“I thought I lost you.” She sniffled, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her face with her sleeve.

“You’re not going to lose me.” He assured her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. It’s going to take a lot more than a stupid fox to take me out.” He paused. “Maybe a fox and a few ninjas.”

She let out a laugh for the first time in what seemed like weeks and let the feeling fill her for as long as she could. She wasn’t sure when she would be able to laugh again and then she looked away, feeling guilty that she could still laugh. Lydia couldn’t find the courage to look him in the eye. Once upon a time he had told her that death wouldn’t happen to her, but to the people left standing at her funeral and that he would be devastated. At the time she had thought that there was no devastation worse than losing Jackson, but now she understood. Devastation was scrambling to find that missing part of you, but only grasping air. It was reaching inside yourself only to see that you are less than you were before. That there would always be an Allison shaped hole in her heart.

And Lydia didn’t want to have a Stiles shaped hole next to it. The thought of feeling everything that made him Stiles seep out of him was devastating. And if there was a hope for Stiles, she would reach through the thin air and step into the darkness.

“Don’t hold your breath.” She said quietly, looking up to see his dark eyes red from exhaustion.

He gave her a tired, weak smile. “Only when you’re around, Lydia.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I got really inspired after seeing [this post on tumblr](http://lielousel.tumblr.com/post/84772110405/i-was-a-little-gutted-by-the-fact-that-stiles-and).
> 
> And the art was so beautiful and so heart wrenching (and made such a good point) that I had to write a fic to go with it. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and please comment :)


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